So, let's start this off right by saying that I am so fucking smart! Seriously guys. I went to the best higschool in the county, got straight A's, was in the honor society and everything! And my teachers even said I was the smartest kid in the whole graduating class. So then I went to college and go...

I worked at 7-Eleven, and it was the best job ever. But, we never kept a lot of money in the drawer because, oh hay!, convenience stores get robbed. So, this black guy came in. He kinda looked like this: He wanted me to break a $100 bill for a pack of Swishers or something like that. I told him that...