Now through March 11th, PETA has resolved to keep its topless protesters off the streets and to avoid throwing white paint at the Olsen twits and other enemies of furballs.  Instead, they've launched a new online competition featuring the Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door. The winner of the fou...

  An 83-year-old woman in Hungary warms our hearts by continuing to work in her chosen career: crime. Amy Fisher is going on that rumored stripping tour. There's a penis in Grand Theft Auto IV! Guess they have to do something to offset the rampant exploitation of women. Funniest headline of...

  Lily Allen, I don't know your music. Lily Allen, I'm not even sure why you're famous-- I believe there were some hit singles a few years back and your most recent song is #1 in Britain right now. But #1 hits don't mean anything these days... you really need a good topless scan...

  Prepare yourself... Valentine's Day is coming, which means you'll be subjected to 10,824 posts about it between now and the weekend. You can bribe us into near silence, though, by buying and sending us one of these sexy V-Day gifts... The old cliche/joke here at Scanner is that we'...