And by "you," I mean this crocodile skin paddle from Kiki de Montparnasse: Except that it's $895. If I win the lottery...or, and this I swear on my blog, if someone buys it for me, they can totally spank me with it (not, you know, an extended lifetime invitation, but one very hard time). Kiki de Mon...

  We almost passed on even reading about this bizarre story because we were 100% convinced that it was going to be completely retracted within minutes. But as the hours passed, we realized we were doing you a disservice by not burdening you with the salacious details... Here are the unconfirmed...

I admit it. I've been on Facebook for only a couple of weeks, and I'm hooked. I've been on MySpace for a couple of years, but I've all but abandoned that page. It's not nearly as user-friendly. Yeah, I loved changing the layout and stuff, but Facebook is so immediate and easy to use. I think it's al...

Best friends do everything together: hang out together, go shopping together, have sex together... wait, you don't bang your best friend? Well, maybe you'd feel differently if you had friends like Stephanie or Megan. We know if they were our friends, we'd waste no time in getting to know them better...

Does your city cluster sex shops all in one little zone? Or are they spread out, free to sling their dildos wherever they please? Cockeyed.com takes a look at where sex shops are located all around the world (cockeyed.com, via Violet Blue)...

I know what you're thinking: why hasn't anyone made a silicone mouthguard (with a vibrating bullet!) that I can wear while giving a blowjob? Well, get back on your knees: your prayers have been answered. The cleverly named Blowguard is, quite literally, a mouthguard for blowjobs. Designed by a denti...

  So I was over at Drugstore.com. Drugstore.com has quietly become one of the largest purveyors of vibrators and dildos, under the rubric of “sexual well-being,” cause, you know sexual pleasure goes in the NSFW porn ghetto, but “sexual well-being”, well, that sounds like it&...

This fellow on Etsy makes some lovely hand-polished wooden dildos....

Okay, some things, whether hand made or not, shouldn't really be sold on Etsy. Because if you ever wanted a hand made wooden dildo, oh man. http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6034292 And the name is Cabin Dweller. LOLOLOLOL ---Yeah, I know, it's Etsy, but this just killed me. XD PS-- Click on the ...

Take a minute to relax, and try to think of your three favorite things. Were you thinking Sasha Grey, Rebeca Linares, and Fleshlights? Cause if you did, we've got the perfect video for you. (And even if you didn't, we're pretty sure you'll enjoy this one. It's just that hot.) · Sasha and Rebe...