newVideoPlayer("/Hoseas_Wind.flv", 506, 423,""); Bom dia a todos. Eu sou Joshua David Stein. The world's worst hour of television aired yesterday. It was called Top Chef and it's an hour I wish never happened. Now let's relive it. Season Five of Bravo's Top Chef was never an easy season. Like a coli...

Hey you Bravo loving fools! It's JDS. In a mere eightish hours, the finale of the fifth season of Top Chef will descend like a pestilence. Meanwhile, enjoy this photograph which reveals the following: Dismissed contestant Fabio is clearly having a grand sexual moment with Padma Lakshmi. Probably whi...

newVideoPlayer("/Final_4.flv", 506, 423,""); Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. The penultimate episode of Bravo's Top Chef aired last night. Let's discuss. Spectacles, testicles, wallets and watch what happens, last night's episode was a panic-inducing angry-making roux of rue, magret du regret,...

newVideoPlayer("/Top_Pussy1.flv", 506, 423,""); Hello, my name is Joshua David Stein. Please, open your hymnals to Matthew 26:17 wherein is discussed Bravo's reality television show Top Chef. This season of Top Chef started out lost but now, Praise God, it is found. Let the light from its lighthouse...

newVideoPlayer("/Leah_Educacion.flv", 506, 423,""); Hello. From 10pm to 11pm last night, the developed world watched Bravo's Top Chef . I'm Joshua David Stein reporting live from Bushwick. Stay with us as BBC World Report returns. In a mood made foul by the bitter cold and a case of angina, I felt n...

newVideoPlayer("/Fabio_Fail.flv", 506, 423,""); Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. Thank you for joining this discussion on Tractatus Topico-Cheficus, a weekly Bravo treatise in its fifth season. [Update: Padma Superbowl Video by popular demand, after the jump.] Three days and nineteen hours befo...

newVideoPlayer("/Chefs_Doin_It.flv", 506, 423,""); Hello, my name is Joshua David Stein. There is much to discuss about last night's episode of Top Chef. So let's get down to it. Restaurant wars, restaurant whores, wanton cheaters in front of camera eye, displeased eaters. Who? This guy! Who among u...

newVideoPlayer("/Aryan_Pig.flv", 506, 423,""); My name is Joshua David Stein. I write a hugely influential weekly column for Gawker.com about the television show Top Chef. The bilious stank still in my mouth from last week's introduction of new judge worst person Toby Young, the porridgey Voldemort ...

newVideoPlayer("/Carla.flv", undefined, NaN,""); It's JDS. It's Top Chef time. Both AIDS and Christmas came to town during last night's episode. I can't say I remember it much for I had gone to the ASSME (American Society of Shitcanned Media Elitists) party before and wasn't sober. And now, sitting ...

Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein and I am here to recruit you in a quest to find Padma Lakshmi's true love. Last Thursday, we set about trying to find a husband for Padma Lakshmi, an impossibly beautiful woman and host of Bravo's Top Chef . This task has become paradoxically both more difficult ...