1. Cy the Cardinal, Iowa State University Cyclones. I have to put this one in here, ‘cause I’m an ISU alum and still like to tailgate it up during football season. So why is a cardinal the mascot of a team named after a force of nature? Because it’s kind of hard to make a mascot out of a torna...

No, this is not the fossilized schlong of a long-dead woolly mammoth, nor the preserved remains of legendary super-schtupper John Holmes: ladies and gentlemen, is a mollusk. And according to people who know about such things, that's all it is . Maybe our minds are just stuck in the gutter, but we ca...