Backstory: I got my first period when I was 9, but it was super irregular until I was about 13.  I was 11 when the pain started, though. I remember my mom taking me to the doctor and me showing him exactly where it hurt because the night before I couldn’t sleep because of the pain and circled...

It’s currently 2:18am and I have Gogol Bordello playing pretty loudly and I seem to be in a much better mood that I was yesterday. This is in part to getting a crapload of sleep today, talking to Blake until 5am yesterday morning, internet friends coming through with birthday presents so I don...

I’m going to be 30 in 9 days and due to that and the fact that I can’t seem to make art right now because of winter depression that apparently no amount of drugs can help, I need STUFF to retain my sanity and feel loved. There. I said it. Truly, I’m going out of my fucking mind thi...

I need a break so bad. I don’t want to turn 30 in 10 days. I’m afraid I’m unloved. I wonder how many calories are in pills, since I pretty much live on them. I’m scared to have surgery. I’m terrified of getting better. But I’m tired of being broken. My brain is fu...

This is not a good time of year for me and like clockwork, I find myself particularly mentally fucked these days. My shrink, whom I saw yesterday, has upped my medications slightly to help compensate, but I’m not optimistic that it’s going to make a difference. My mind is all over the pl...

I don’t even know where to start, I’m so drained from thinking about it. Yesterday was a long day: Pelvic ultrasound, half an hour away, at 9 in the morning, then a dentist appointment in the afternoon and following that, an appointment with an OB/GYN in the same town (half an hour away)...

Today has sucked so fucking bad that I'm gonna have to wait & tell you all about it tomorrow. But this was the news that just fucking broke me: "This item will be released on June 2, 2009." http://www.amazon.com/Sims-3-Pc/dp/B00166N6SA/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1233879369&sr=8-1 Fuck ...

I know I complain about this a lot, but it has to be said: I am fucking dying of uterine pain right now. I took two Tylenol 3's (that's acetaminophen + 30 mg codeine, each) and one of those super strength "you can only take 3 in 24 hours" Motrins and I can't even stand up the pain's still so bad. I ...

I am 29 years old and now on cholesterol medication. Doc says this is probably something I inherited, as opposed to something medication related. Tell me to eat oatmeal and I'll fucking kill you. ...but the Coke has to go too. I'm flirting with diabetes. *facepalm* Feb. 5th I have a pelvic ultrasoun...

I don't know what's wrong with me today, but I've spent most of it crying for pretty much no reason. It's not even the holidays, it's just...me. My illness. I called Blake at work and spent 20 minutes crying and sniffling into the phone. He's bringing home crazy glue for a painting I'm working on, a...