TALLAHASSEE, AP–Bobby Bowden appealed to the NCAA to include wins from his past before. He may have to do it again. Florida State will appeal the NCAA ruling in an academic fraud case including the vacating of 14 wins, but should the University lose the appeal Bowden will likely try a new tack...

Football is like life: it has a playbook, and when it breaks down, people get hurt. Enjoy. The play begins thusly. We play the part of the quarterback, labeled here as O/S. The idea: to successfully pitch our way through an evening of socializing at a party in DC with the pitchman, our friend the lo...

WE ARE OUTRAGED–well, not at all actually. The Florida Times-Union declared Utah their national champion per their set of power rankings, which is fine with us since we’ve become full-bore BCS absurdists, and accept undefeated Utah’s claim to the title right along with Florida̵...

Reporter: “Any further questions: what do you expect to see from the Sooners in terms of game management and strategy on Saturday?” Pinkel: “I’m gonna just be frank with you. I expect them to put sixty points worth of ungreased football schlong right into our outflow pipe, fr...

Scene: A Manhattan brownstone at 245 East 73rd Street between Park and Madison. Sarah Jessica Parker Wilson sits on his bed, typing at his Mac and sneaking his sixth last cigarette of the night. We hear his voice reading the words he is typing on screen. SJPW: But what if, in the rush to find love, ...

The hilarity of watching Robert Marve somehow miss a 6′7″ defensive end and throw the ball directly to him would be excuse enough, but Miami gave up 472 yards rushing to Georgia Tech, and that struck us as extremely funny, and because we had Miami guests in, they thought it was the oppos...

Scott Wolf proposes the revolutionary idea of the team-themed cemetery for USC, which is of course based on a real German idea about a Hamburg-HSV-themed cemetery for diehard soccer fans, which is “of-course” worthy since in all matters thanatological the Germans are at the forefront, bo...

Les Miles strides to the podium without fanfare and begins speaking to a room full of reporters. Les Miles: I’d like to thank everyone for coming today. It’s a great day to be an LSU Tiger. Please, as is usual, leave your taffy in the jars provided for that purpose up front. Taffy in the...

The following is an excerpt from our upcoming memoir, Song of the Lukewarm Potsticker. It is about the father shared by both Matt Ufford and Spencer Hall: a poet, a madman, a city bus driver, a man fond of grooming himself with a soldering iron, the color orange, and the man who made us who we are t...

The internet is made for certain things: pornography, poorly written college football sites, and anonymous douchebags assailing all they survey. However, it’s also made for Youtube, which despite its extremely misleading video titles (DAMMIT! “Rollergirl hot sex” is actually a 9/11...