Fucking Fucking Fuck. Mankletooth Bastard has won Top Chef is Sullied. Yeah, I know. It’s hyperbole. And generally hyperbole makes me want to set myself on fire. But I really feel—I really do feel, my loves—that a Hosea win has completely blackened the good name of Top Chef. This is not like H...

Of course, the one day you don't eat breakfast, then accidentally upend your purse before leaving the house, and then use that as an opportunity to transfer the five zillion dollars worth of coins that have been clanking around at the bottom since god knows when into your piggy bank. . . . . . would...