New cheese follows new starters around our beloved college football. Name: Aaron Corp Substantials: Has beefed up to 204 pounds after coming into USC at 180, stands 6′ 4″, and has has a removable head for maintenance purposes: Connotations: The only quarterback that already sounds like h...

That The Humanitarian only wants what’s best for his angels is a fact disputed only by cads and ne’er-do-wells.  If no one’s saying he’s crying into his pillow at night over losing Sanchez, that’s only because Carroll never sleeps.  But going on the record a month lat...

We would like to announce that in addition to signing Drinky Crow, we also have received a fax from promising billiards athlete Been Had Money. Trent Richardson won’t announce for another half-hour or so, but do not let that stop us from surveying the landscape of smoking fax machines in that ...

Pete Carrol was not wearing his Captain Compassion underwear today at the press conference announcing Mark Sanchez’s decision to go pro: “He’s going against the grain on this one. I told him Durex, but he went with Lifestyles. I said Honda, but he went Subaru. I mean, he’s go...

The yearly tweaking of the rules is now on the docket, and let us humbly propose one rule in sore need of tweakage: the transfer rule, a bit of earth-salting schools may use on recruits who transfer out of programs. Robert Marve received an especially poxy variant of the treatment, with Miami refusi...

As we are most years, we sit shocked at how good most of the bowls have been. They don’t have to be; on odds, we’d bet that most teams relegated to meaningless exhibition would take what we regard to be the logical path of least resistance for 18-22 year old men doing things for vague, p...

Peter and ourself will be renewing an annual tradition of broadcasting our alcoholacast of a bowl game. The way this works: we get alcohol, set up some rules, and then broadcast the two of us regretting our decision for two hours as we hoark down far too much booze for a weeknight. Last year, during...

What is e’er golden in life, you ask? The sweet irony and discomfort of BYU going to the Las Vegas Bowl, that’s what. Bronco Mendenhall looks as comfortable standing between two showgirls as we look in church. Meaning: obviously and visibly praying for a fire to break out so he can leave...

Pete Carroll’s totally happy to give up timeouts to wear USC’s home jerseys against UCLA. Fuck you he won’t do what you tell him! Fuck you he won’t do what you tell him! The Pac-10 will just make him give up two time outs in the game to do this, which is a price we’d li...

Mack Brown shows you how he gets down. Mack will not “make the case” for the Texas Longhorns until after the Aggie game. Then, if they beat Texas A&M, Mack will commence to a-tappin’ as only he can. Just imagine Savion Glover’s body and Mack’s head for maximum comi...