Back fifty bajillion years ago, I used to talk about wanting a baby. Do you even remember that whole infertility thing? Was it a phase? No. It wasn’t. I assure you, I still carry those Punk-Ass Ovaries and Busted Uterus around with me on a daily basis. We’re tight like that. But what happened? D...

Lately life has been kicking my ass. And I HATE that. Not that, by any means, I am a swirling dervish of energy moving Tasmanian Devil style from one point to the next. It’s no secret that my couch is one of my favorite places to be. But I think that the emotional exertion of life the past week or...

Dear self… Do you feel that uncomfortable sensation about the waist-ish area? Those are your pants. And they are telling you that last week’s “All Peanut Butter Truffles, All The Time” diet was ill-advised. Eat an apple and take a walk you dumb whore. Kisses, P’Chef. **...

Dreams are funny things. I woke up this morning with such a sense of sheer panic and for a brief moment I had no idea why. And then slowly the dream came back to me. High school. You and I both know that nothing good ever starts out with those two words. And please spare me the “High School Musica...

The artistic part of my heart has been in hibernation for too long. For almost 2 years it was replaced by my job of “governing� artists. Maybe replaced isn’t the right word, rather it was DISplaced. So much of my creative energy was zapped by planning and filling out forms and applications for...

We are settling in. We are becoming acquainted, me and this new house. I am learning about her (as I have decided that much like yachts, houses are most likely feminine) and hopefully she is finding a few things out about me too. I cannot speak for Patrick’s dance with her as we each go about thin...

Things around me seem to be moving normally today. It’s still five days until Christmas. The lady at Starbucks still called me honey-pie. (And yes. Ever since that awful cup of tea incident I’ve done my damndest to avoid Starbucks. But Christmas without peppermint mocha is like cheese with no wi...