Pillowfights aren’t always sexy. We reserved a special pillow for Boy Scout camping trips: the Hammer. The Hammer was an ancient down pillow that had, over the course of decades, surrendered much of its fluff to the atmosphere, leaving the remainder as a sack of rock hard feather stems and ass...

Pissing outside is great. If you really want to make a woman jealous, just pee outside in front of her. She’ll likely say, AHHHHHHH WHO ARE YOU I’M CALLING THE COPS. But underneath the skeeved-out fright and cloud of pepper spray, what she’s really trying to say is “Gee, I wi...

The weather and cabin fever prior to spring practice can only be blamed for the psychobilly freakout that occurred this weekend in an active Fulmer Cup scoring session. The Big Board is updated and brought to you by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson. Incidents, clarifications, and rank...

Fulmer Cuprising! Iowa; Ohio State; and Arkansas. All three strike with a boozy determination to bolt their teams into the Fulmer Cup race. Full update shortly with points awarded, but the most active weekend of the Cup season has a common thread running through it: the need to get crunk no matter i...

A moderate ovation for Ball State, making a name for itself as the class of the MAC in the offseason as well as on the field.  Their starting kicker Ian McGarvey got hisself locked up this weekend for DUI. Can’t imagine what went wrong here, smooth operator: The officer told McGarvey police r...

From the To Hell With Your “Geography”, It Rhymes Department: It’s too early yet to call this an Ellis T. Jones-caliber spree, but if the police reports hold up, Hawaii’s JoPierre Davis has the early lead in this offseason’s leaderboard of horrors. Photo via a preseason...

Always pay your cabbie: they journeyed either from rehab or from the furthest reaches of the earth to take your drunk ass from one place to another, and you owe them not only the proper fare for the effort, but also a generous tip for putting up with your drunk ass. Bonus: in Atlanta they’re a...

IN YOUR BIG ORANGE PANTS IT’S TIME TO DANCE!!! Regardless of whether the big man in Orange is there anymore or not, the Fulmer Cup retains both its name and scoring system for 2009. DANCE AND ELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF ANOTHER OFFSEASON!!! MP3 File The Fulmer (Memorial) Cup celebrates in Bronx Chee...

Two tix to paradise, homey. Drop a whiny hipster bitch like ourselves stuck in the middle of Ybor City in Tampa at night, and there’s two responses: attempt to cover the sorrow on your face at the horde of fashion victims and future Applebee’s ejectees (”I’ll fucking fight yo...

Michigan is on the board in the Fulmer Cup thanks to the DUI arrest of running back Kevin Grady, who took some of that fine new conditioning Michigan had and rounded it out with some impaired motor skills drills behind the wheel of a car. This bit of cross-training earns Michigan the first points of...