Warm weather was “our thing” – we spent tons of time doing yard work, gardening, fishing, staying outside until late, sitting and talking on the back porch. Of course he would drink most of those times and some of those times were NOT happy times but a lot of them were. So now with the onset of s...

So I've started my first book about Alcoholism. I'm trying to find out everything I can about this disease...I'm almost addicted to knowledge. Lastnight I was skimming through this book and I started reading about Stage I, II and III of Alcoholism. I've decided my XABF is certainly in Stage III. The...

I have read a lot of posts talking about quacking on here today. I think that may be what my ADAXH may be doing. Basically means what? Throwing you a bone- just enough to keep you hanging on but no substance there? Ugh! It is so hard to let go after 15 years, but I need to know he will never change....

I actually finally got serious and decided to look at the 12 steps. I have been meaning to go to Al Anon for months, but between the drama in my life and my pregnancy (and now a newborn) tonight is the first time I'm finding time. I have no childcare, so attending a meeting at the moment is impossib...

Ugh- where to start y'all? Umm how do I summarize this? OK 15 years ago I was 16 and he was 24 and he sold me pot and we liked to party and he stayed that way and I grew up. And now 2 kids, a major stroke which left him temporarily paralyzed, a successful business, me moving out twice, this time to ...

I am thinking about today's One Day at a Time - Today's Reminder: It is not the alcoholic who is my responsibility. My Job is to do something about my own faults, my own part in the mess our life has become. Can I admit that my own irrational behavior helped to create the mess? I am sure I will real...

Just when you think it's safe to get back in the water.. A little update... Storage is booked. I have paid a deposit and the unit is available from Saturday. I spoke to my A who agreed to help me move my stuff out. Due to circumstances out of my control it required him to make the booking for the tr...

It has been a few months since my last post. At that time I was grappling with the decision to leave my ABF. At the time I lived in Alabama, and through the strength of folks at SR was encouraged to jump in my car and go to NY. My little girl was born December 3, 2008. I have pictures to share. She ...

I am just feeling so bawged (sp?) down right now. Man... I feel fustrated with my marriage, I am having a hard time keeping up with the kids and the apt. I just want to curl up in bed and cry. I thought AH and I had a good therepy session last week. We came to the conclusion that it would be best fo...

I need to post this because I want to let people know how taking a physical break from the addict can benefit both parties. My ABF and I have not broken up technically, but we haven't seen each other in a while and yes, I have had a hard time with that. During the past week, however, I have received...