We’re sad to report that Chris Brown will no longer be taking part in the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. Alright, more relieved than sad. If Chris Brown can allegedly punch Rihanna because she threw some car keys out a window, then God knows what’d happen if Justin Timberlake squ...

Oh readers, we can’t tell how long we’ve waited for this day - the day that Hayden Panettiere became a genuine stroppy mare. We knew she had it in her, sure. But now it’s here and, lord, it is beautiful. How much of a stroppy mare is Hayden Panettiere? Only stroppy enough to try an...

The alleged Chris Brown/ Rihanna fight started with a booty text - OK, a confusing hatred of women and a booty text. But who sent it? Some said it was Kim Kardashian, who liked Chris Brown because her bottom is large and dense enough to absorb most violent attacks. Some said it was Paris Hilton, bec...

Say whatever you like about Guy Ritchie, but never suggest that he doesn’t like women with stupid accents. Because that’s incontestable fact. Until recently Guy Ritchie was married to Madonna, whose bizarre mid-Atlantic accent made her sound exactly like Lloyd Grossman choking on grape s...

There is nothing more amusing than watching someone in the street who is proclaiming the world is going to end. Still, they’ve at least given us enough warning to book our rocket ship so we can picnic on the moon whilst watching the world implode. But if you can’t do this, what do you do? Thankf...

Look, let’s not dilly-dally - this is an Amy Winehouse story, so it’s either going to be about drugs or violence. Or, at a push, degenerative skin conditions. But, no, we shouldn’t toy with you - after all, stories about Amy Winehouse’s degenerative skin conditions are a rare...

This is a sponsored article, brought to you in association with Atkinson’s Sports Socks: now twice as absorbent. We must begin with an apology to the nation’s High School teachers: you are about to experience an outbreak amongst your male pupils of awkwardly hunched walking, unwillingnes...

Chris Brown has tried all sorts - apologising, getting back with Rihanna, gleefully norking around on a jetski. But it hasn’t worked. Yesterday Chris Brown was formally charged with two felonies regarding his alleged thumping of Rihanna - assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making ...

Usually when hecklerspray attends job interviews with a resume in-hand, the interviewers ask us things like “That thar piece a paper say you know how to dig graves?” Which it doesn’t - and it never has. For years the only thing our resume has had printed on it are the words me, wor...

Remember when Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe got divorced? No, no of course you don’t remember. That’d be ridiculous. Nobody on the face of the planet - including the parents of both Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe - cares about Reese Witherspoon or Ryan Phillipe enough to retai...