• It comes in smooth and chunky: Jerome Bettis now has his own premium tequila. It's the perfect shot for drunk driving school bus drivers. [PSAMP] • Nice swing, Nancy: Today is the birthday of the batting tee—helping uncoordinated kids feel special for over six decades. [Star-Tribune] •...

• Pinch me: You're not dreaming. It's T.O.'s new Buffalo locker. Or a future exhibit at the Clubhouse Cancer wing of the Smithsonian. [Mouthpiece Sports] • He was thirsty, okay?: Marion Barber had a good time on his trip to New York, racking up a $14,000 bar tab, plus a $3,000 tip. Couldn't you ...

How about His greatest gift? the gift of Himself, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, whole and entire?Is that, is He a chore? A new-to-me blog by a, (so far as I have discerned,) Lutheran minister has a post on the, (understandably,) miffing ('zat a word?) tendency of some people to act as if they are ...

• "The Reject Bench": That's where these poor ladies were sitting during "A Night With Lebron James," according to one partygoer. [Black Sports Online] • Things NASCAR team owners shouldn't do: 1.) Get charged with a DUI. [OnlineSportsGuys] • Did you know Matthew Berry was in 'Crocodile Dundee...

• It's science: A totally reliable scientific survey reveals that European soccer fans prefer to see their lady wear their favorite team's kit instead of lingerie in the sack. Actually, they would prefer to date Keeley Hazell, but this makes a better story. [Lion in Oil] • Take your time: Is thi...

• What's under that hat?: You know what's amazing about this? Larry Johnson actually looked at himself in a mirror before he left the house and thought, "Yeah, that looks right." [Pacman Jonesin'] • I don't know what you're talking about: Get your MLS team previews. I'm just going to have to tak...

• ...And she's 22: She's a senior at FIT, plays his voicemail messages to her friends, and asks him suggestions on how to get a "tighter butt." Total marriage material. [Sports Crackle Pop] • Kevin Blackistone is the "Sports Opinionist": Real Clear Sports interviews Fanhouse's other ATH yapper. ...

• Don't have to go home, but you can't stay here: Bears fans are literally counting down the seconds to Rex Grossman's free agency. It's almost like they can't wait for him to leave! [InGameNow] • He's only meeting with the losers from now on: President Obama has invited the Chicago Bulls to the...

• Livin large: Another young man has his dreams fulfilled by getting to hang out with a 7'7" human oddity. [Gunaxin] • Call collect next time: A hapless Chicago fan rang up a $27,000 wireless bill trying to watch a Bears game online. Don't tell him the final score, he still hasn't seen the end y...

• The high hard one: Excessive crotch grabbing is not just a stereotype that you see in the movies. Yes, I'm talking about baseball movies. [More Hardball] • So rude: Alexander Ovechkin is just being mean to Sidney Crosby now. Why does Alex have to go and score all those goals like that? [Josh Q...