People, when they encounter someone like me*, always end up with the conclusion that everything we do is in fact a cry for help. A many long time ago I stated that I didn't want to be helped and that I wasn't looking for any help, I still maintain that affirmation. I am not doing what I am doing to ...

When do I tell prospective romantic partners that I'm bipolar? I'm female, early 20s and was diagnosed about a year ago as bipolar (technically bipolar II--my depressive episodes can be extreme, and I haven't experienced "full blown" mania but my hypomania is pretty disruptive to my life)....

As reported by The New York Times, people with bipolar disorder have a higher risk of suffering from fatal illness according to a study (that reviewed 17 other studies involving more than 331,000 people) reported in the February issue of......

“The hardest part of all this is my loss of security and my lack of control over my own finances and future. I feel vulnerable and completely powerless to change any of this. It angers me that other people are determining my fate. Especially since they are doing such a pathetic job of it.� ~Dawn...

I don't understand. I sat in my car at the post office crying my eyes out.  Before that I was driving down the street and fantasized about colliding head-on with the fire truck speeding toward me. That would be easy, but messy.  Before that I had lunch with my dad and tea...

Last night I wrote about a practice of happiness, that I rejected the idea of writing as bland therapy – as a theme paper about my daily struggles. But that isn’t such a bad idea on reevaluation in the morning. What was I getting at? I want to work at something that is hard. Writing about the di...

It’s currently 2:18am and I have Gogol Bordello playing pretty loudly and I seem to be in a much better mood that I was yesterday. This is in part to getting a crapload of sleep today, talking to Blake until 5am yesterday morning, internet friends coming through with birthday presents so I don...

I’m going to be 30 in 9 days and due to that and the fact that I can’t seem to make art right now because of winter depression that apparently no amount of drugs can help, I need STUFF to retain my sanity and feel loved. There. I said it. Truly, I’m going out of my fucking mind thi...

I need a break so bad. I don’t want to turn 30 in 10 days. I’m afraid I’m unloved. I wonder how many calories are in pills, since I pretty much live on them. I’m scared to have surgery. I’m terrified of getting better. But I’m tired of being broken. My brain is fu...

Oh shit, this shit again?  *sigh.*  *eyeroll.*   Whatever.    I told Genie the Doctor that I didn't like some of the "side effects" I've been experiencing, but I didn't know from what side the effects were ...