Its blueberry pancake batter covering makes the Jimmy Dean Blueberry Pancakes & Sausage Minis look like tiny, diseased Russet potatoes, but that’s not what’s most disturbing about this product. The color of the pancake’s interior, which is an infected purple shade that’s...

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not a fan of Jack in the Box’s tacos because there’s not much filling in them and they’re greasier than a Best Buy employee trying to sell you the extended warranty, TV calibration and the overpriced HDMI Monster Cable to go with your...

While it’s impressive that it takes only 90 seconds to heat up the Bertolli Premium Champignon & Portobello Mushroom Pasta Sauce, having to wait 10-15 minutes for the noodles to be prepared pretty much defeats the purpose of the sauce’s quickness, unless you don’t eat noodles ...

Dear Jack in the Box $2.99 Jumbo Deal, By the time you read this, I’ll be eating a salad with a low-fat balsamic vinaigrette. I apologize for doing this, but it’s something I had to do for the both of us. I know this might come as a bit of a surprise to you, especially because you’...

I stopped caring about hip-hop after Biggie got shot, Tupac got popped, and Wreckx-n-Effect disbanded, so all I know about Lil Jon is that he helped coin the word “crunk,” he likes saying YEAH!!! and WHAT? and he’s the 21st Century version of Flavor Flav in terms of looks, talent, ...

With the name Angry Whopper, you would expect this burger to be one spicy mofo that burns worse than the penis of a 1980’s rocker who’s conquered way too many groupies. However, despite containing jalapeno slices, pepper jack cheese, spicy onion rings, and a spicy Angry Sauce, the Angry ...

Let me tell you what sucks about getting old; it’s not being able to eat things that I used to eat in the quantities I want to eat them in. I remember when I could eat an entire can of Pringles in one sitting and the only consequence would be constipation. Today, if I were to eat an entire can...

Like alcohol in the hands of really bored housewives, potato chips can be addictive. If I had a dollar for every time I opened a big bag of potato chips and got to the point when I said “Holy shit! I can’t believe I ate half the bag,” I’d have enough money to get the quinapri...

The idea of getting a fancy pastry from McDonald’s is like getting your entertainment from MTV, it’s best to have low expectations because of its source, which should’ve stuck to their roots instead of branching out into other areas. The Golden Arches have been trying to take advan...

Coffee is probably one of the original gangstas of energy drinks, so the idea of adding an energy drink to coffee seems unnecessary, like a bra on an Olsen twin. But companies who like to energize the masses and make money doing so think this fusion is necessary and have created coffee energy drinks...