The first part of a five-part story about Picards. The moment I kicked the old man in the chest, I realised I had to make a choice. I’ve never done anything like it before, and I’d like to say I never will again. But for reasons I’m about to explain, I don’t have the luxury of making pacifis...

WARNING: The following post is a piece of fiction, and in no way intended as a comment on actual Tuscans. I have never been to Tuscany. I'm sure it's a perfectly pleasant place. Italy, as every schoolchild knows, is a beautiful land of green and golden hills in which wheat wafts plentifully in the f...

A story about the soup that is served at the annual Dinner of Loss. Figure 1a: the dining hall. Located, it seems, in an abandoned subway tunnel, panelled incongruously in teak, mahogany and other unsustainable hardwoods. Insufficiently lit by dim, recessed lights that give the room an atmosphere of...

I strolled along Southbank at lunch, and saw three builders running around on the beach drawing a picture in the sand. They looked like happy children playing. It was really sweet. I watched them to see what they were drawing. It was a big ejaculating cock. By Under Scrutiny for alittlepoison.com | ...

A small tribute to the blues musician Ted Hawkins The first words I heard Ted Hawkins sing, it was a song called ‘Sorry you’re sick.’ Good morning my darling, I’m telling you this To let you know that I’m sorry you’re sick Those tears of sorrow won’t do you no good I’d be your doctor...

First part of a ghastly tale about cycling, sex and ghosts. My homage to a year's experience of cycling in London. All of Jack’s girlfriends have something in common, though none have realised it yet. Actually, they have two things in common. First, they are all cyclists. Jack is also a cyclist. T...

“Yes, what you like?� asks the restaurant owner. Or perhaps he is not the owner. He just happens to be in the restaurant. “Omelette and coffee.� The restaurant owner thinks. “Coffee is not possible. Tea is possible. Omelette, I do not know. Wait, please.� We sit down. He goes out and com...

It's conceivable that the world's most powerful country could end up being governed by someone who believes that dinosaurs existed at the same time as humans.   See this excerpt from The Huffington Post. I’ve included some comments to the article which I found quite amusing. ‘Soon after...

Past glories are remembered here. I am shown a delicate china plate, flower-patterned, from the days of the British Raj. Only this and some teacups and saucers remain; painted dishes for marmalade and jam. “All others destroyed in the fire,� he says. “Everything goes. What now?� His father a...

During the time I’ve been living in Hackney, I’ve been shopping regularly in the friendly Turkish supermarket at the end of the road. It’s a typical shop for the area I live in: a traffic-fume-wilted selection of green vegetables, soft aubergines, yams, plantains, mint, basil and parsley stand...