Okay, so I heard on the grapevine that some of you were growing tired of sniffing my dick for a week straight. While I am flattered that you like my penis enough to hold your nose to if for a week, I only recall demanding that Mr. Limbaugh smell the smegma. Speaking of smegma, while I keep clean and...

I think that is one fact can be gleaned from the drama of the past few days, it is that the Republican Party is in a comical state of disarray. Where else but America would you see a political party chairman apologizing to an overweight, loud mouth, ex-drug addict AM radio talk show host over remark...

Have you ever just wanted to make your mind shut the fuck up for a second? I know I have, especially as of late. I think about love far too much. Relationships I sort of think I would want but when I think about it more it just seems too weird to ever be feasible. Peculiar attractions I feel yet cou...

In a movie he's never seen, a character he's never heard of said that there are only two kinds of people in the world: Beatles people and Elvis people. Now, Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like Beatles, but nobody likes the two equally. And no, Tupac is not an acceptable option. ...

They say that what the mind doesn't know anything about, the mind is afraid of. The other day I caught the tail end of Mitt Romney's address at the American Conservative Union's annual conference, CPAC. As I usually do with Mitt Romney speeches, I wasn't giving the man my full attention because I wa...

The United States of America is perhaps one of the most unique countries on the planet. We have been bombing someone somewhere for over sixty continuous years, we have the highest incarceration rates in the western world, a woman who hunts wolf cubs from a helicopter was almost elected Vice Presiden...

You know, some people might say I have problems. Case in point: last night after waking up just before 9 and deciding to blow off my morning class, I found myself slithering around a bombed out Austrian city block, circa 2006 or so. Me and my M-16 were quickly the only ones left of the Red Team afte...

Gathered around the comforting entrance to the university's steamy utility tunnels, the topic of the conversation apparently turned to suicides. See, earlier in the night one of us was stumbling around after a hard day and several times mentioned cutting himself up with a razor. Such talk can safely...

Well it's been a while since we had one of these, hasn't it? I try to do them once a month but our last one was in December. And this, being the shortest month of the year and Black History Month, what better time for AABD? Last night, ACRN had its quarterly semiprivate screening of the Tommy Wiseau...

One thing about Rockville I noticed is that there are very few seriously religious or openly religious people. There are plenty of families that show up to church every Sunday, but speaking in sweeping generalizations it seems like they do it in a Simpsonian sort of way; the only reason they go is b...