They got in! My kids got into our first choice school. Both of them. Woo fucking hoo! I am seriously having a hard time taking it all in. I can't remember ever being this happy or proud. On Saturday, my husband and I were on different flights home from Hawaii. So when I got home, I picked up our car...

So this is what life was like before we decided to breed. I had vague recollections of relaxing weekends but I think the hormone surge of giving birth erases your memory of just how good life was B.C. My kids are with my parents. I'm leaving on a jet plane in the middle of the damn night for Hawaii....

It's time for... (drum roll...) Spot the dirty words in the first grader's homework! This week's episode features Mommy's future career. And here we gooooo... sorescorestorewhorebeforeflorist X (annoying buzzer sound) Nope, mommy's not going to be a florist. But enjoy your lovely parting gift. Next ...

Or at least things my husband and I say to each other. 1) Is that your feet that stink like dead animal. Or is it me? 2) (While holding shirt over nose) Are you ill? No human should make that smell. Should I call 911? 3) Sure we can have sex. Just let's not do that thing you like to do. 4) She/he mu...

I was sitting with my pants around my ankles just a bit ago. And I realized something. I only shaved one leg last night. Yup, one leg is as smooth as a stretch of Gulf coast beech. The other is as prickly as a Southwest cactus. Story of my life, people. Story of my life....

What I signed up to bring: brownies What they have me listed to bring: deviled eggs What they're getting: shit (What they'd get if they ate my deviled eggs: the shits)...

I've decided to stop yelling. I know, I know. You're thinking, "You? Tuna Girl? You yell? Never! I won't believe it!" I can't believe it either. I never used to yell. When the kids were little I can even remember telling my husband, "You can't be mad at her. She's two!" And I would never just yell a...

For the last few days my husband has been all upset over the fact that my daughter's jacket is always in a ball on the floor of her bedroom. He keeps telling her she better hang it up. I told him, "I've given up on that battle. In a heap on the floor is where she keeps it. At least she knows where i...

Facebook feels like the early days of blogging. Everybody is doing it and everyone wants to meme. (Is that a verb? I'm making it a verb.) Nobody wants to be left out as one of the cool kids. And what the hell. On a day when I don't feel like writing, it gives me blog fodder. So here's a little somet...

I finally wrote the article for the kids' old school. And I cried the entire time I was typing. Then I had to go through all of our pictures to find something to accompany the story. And that made me bawl. And then I got a flurry of e-mails and Facebook messages from my old Shreveport friends. And t...