(Can anyone name that tune, puddings?) On Saturday night, I invited some of my peeps out to my hood for a special little gathering that happens only once a year. "What makes this night different from all other nights?" I asked them. And their answers came back: "Indigestion;" "Epic Bowel Movements;"...

It’s reunion time, my lovelies, which means that last night I hunkered down with my wine and my 2001 laptop (Goddamn Geek Squad) to watch the nimrods of Season 5 one last time. It was made slightly better by the fact that I was wearing this: my AWESOME birthday present from mysterygirl! I’m tota...

I've been spending some time lately thinking about the upcoming baseball season. This, of course, is normal behaviour for me in March, but it's been more intense than usual this year. Maybe it's because I haven't been to a baseball game since my Yankee Stadium trip last fall. Maybe it's because ther...

Fucking Fucking Fuck. Mankletooth Bastard has won Top Chef is Sullied. Yeah, I know. It’s hyperbole. And generally hyperbole makes me want to set myself on fire. But I really feel—I really do feel, my loves—that a Hosea win has completely blackened the good name of Top Chef. This is not like H...

Under the auspices of my august employer, the Extremely Reputable Organization, I just met Carla. I would love to be able to tell you that all the loveableness, the whackadooness, and the fun-but-crazy are all a put on; that in person, she's dour and humourless and totally no fun at all. She's not. ...

What I gonna doWeeth no Fabio een myRee-caps? Va fangul . Ok, gattini. At the risk of sounding hyperbolic (because we all know that hyperbole makes me want to set myself on fire), I have to say one thing. And yes, I have to say it in my bad, Harvard of the Southwest style Italian: Senza Fabio, non c...

Hello, kittens. Long-ish time, no see. No, I'm not dead, I'm not ignoring you, and I'm not trapped under something heavy. I've just been. . . . kind of "Amish" lately. I'm stealing "Amish" from a friend of a friend. When he and his siblings got in trouble, they didn't get grounded. They got "Amish"-...

Out of the clear blue nowhere this afternoon, I found myself thinking about some advice an ex-boyfriend once gave me. I'd just gotten off of the train during the distancey portion of our relationship, and was falling gratefully into his waiting embrace, when he said something I'll never forget. Jesu...

It’s about damn timeThe HoseBeast goes Home for herHollandaise Challa. (it's a masterwork of quasi-alliterative Haiku, non?) I mean, honestly, what’s to say? I’m happy; it’s unsurprising; and it’s way overdue. Beyond that, there’s not much to say about someone who distinguished herself n...

So a couple of people asked about the vintage Trixie Belden books I mentioned in passing yesterday, and while I wasn't planning to write about them, I figured they fit with this week's theme of "things that have come in the mail recently," so what the hell. Here's the story. In May, I went home to A...