1. Our names are NOT "Hey" or "Yo", nor do we respond to whistles or banging your bottle or glass on the bar! IF you ever do get your drink you can be sure we will serve everyone else at the bar before we decide to serve you. 2. Mouth closed, money out! Just because we look at you, doesn't mean we'r...

Interesting - I never knew this!!! Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add a few more letters, it spells out: "Fuck off and go home you benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-English speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing, bo...

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Chicago park when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend. A reporter is standing by, sees ...

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep. I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your mistress find out you're married. 2) Explaining to y...

Q: What can a bird do that a man cannot do? A: Whistle through his pecker! @->->-...

Here's Your Answer: Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Hei...

Harold went to the pet store looking for a guard dog and the employee gave him a little poodle. Harold said, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?" The employee said, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate." "Karate? I don't believe it," Harold said. The employee put the dog down...

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in...

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. ...

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to ...